Kaitlin
by Silent Angel
Summary: Two Sues arrive in the Caribbean after a failed attempt to go home. Stupidity ensues.


This is... well... the sequel to Algebra D, also known as Legolis, Gimli, and Boromir Die (LGB D, get it? ) That one, unfortunately, was never finished... and I decided that I wanted to work on this one instead... and... now I've decided to work on it again. All you really need to know about Algebra D is that four Sues ended up in Middle Earth and... through an unlikely turn of events... two tried to destroy the world, and two saved it.

In any event, this is where Aki and Seira first made an appearance. At this point in time though, Aki was still Akki, and a good deal dumber. I liked her more back then, and I'm hoping to return her to her roots a little by working on this. So... yeah. Here goes.

Finally. Everything was all over, so they could return to normal and go home. Akki could see her hair growing out, and it was brown again, but… She frowned. Her hair wasn't this long… In her mind, she could see her eyes, and they weren't gray anymore, but they weren't brown either. Instead, they were shifting to an odd shade of violet. Beside her, Seira was changing as well, her black hair in a chin-length cut that should have been Akki's. Her eyes remained that startling blue that definitely wasn't hers… Akki glanced around frantically. What was going on? Why didn't anyone stop this? She looked at Seira. They were supposed to go home!

Akki's breath ran out and she burst into reality. Beside her, Seira gasped for air. They woke up.

"And just what do we have here, mates? Looks to be a young lass trying to stow away with us, now doesn't it, Pintel?"

Seira's eyes darted about from pirate to pirate.

"Aye, that it does... That it does..."

Jack removed his hat in salute to the hanging pirates. Suddenly there came a jolt as his ship sunk much more quickly. He spun around, coming face to face with a young girl. He frowned, wondering how she came to be there, but didn't have time to ask as the boat was no longer above water. As he bailed the water from the bottom she merely stared. Finally he gave up, seeing that the dock was in sight. He watched it for a moment, figuring if they climbed to the top of the mast they'd probably make it.

"You're Jack -Captain Jack Sparrow."

He stared at her. Was he really that famous? Slowly a grin formed, partially hidden by his mustache. "And how would ye be knowing that? Or an even better question-how is that you're on my boat?"

She seemed flustered at his question. "I-I mean, well, I know your name because... Oh hell! This was so much easier with Lord of the Rings! At least he knew what a book was." She glanced at the pirate. "And I don't even know why I'm here. I was supposed to go home after the story finished! And how am I going to explain movies to you?"

Jack stared. Who was this girl?

After what seemed like an eternity, she sighed. "I'm not from-ay!" She tripped and fell with a rather ungraceful splash into the water. As for Jack, he had been expecting the jolt of the boat hitting the dock and strode gracefully down towards the land.

"What? Hold up there, you. It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the docks!"

Jack and the man stared at the boat barely holding its mast above the water.

The man looked a bit flustered. "And I shall need your name."

"What d'ye say to three shillings and we forget the name?" Handing over some coins, Jack nodded towards the water. "My friend will be out in a moment. Will you be needing her name as well?"

The man glanced to where a hand grasped the splintered wood and shook his head, beaming. "Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith. There's a room for you and the missus not too much of a walk away."

Jack smiled slightly and strolled away, pocketing some change left by the Harbormaster.

"Jack!"

He spun around, alarmed. It was the girl, hoisting herself halfway out of the salty water. Troublesome little thing she was. He hurried over, clapping a hand over her mouth and pulling her onto the dock, glancing around to make sure no one had noticed the little stunt she had just pulled. "Don't say that name! It's Mr. Smith, and you are, as of three shillings ago, Mrs. Smith."

She raised one delicately arched eyebrow then frowned at the story's choice of words. "Stupid authors…trying to write all flowery-like." She shook her head and glared at the pirate. "And I'll say whatever name I want if you're going to go around just abandoning me like that."

He frowned, pulling at his mustache a bit as he contemplated this. He had no reason to trust her, she had appeared from seemingly nowhere, and of course, she was a girl. What could she possibly want with him? Still, it would be nice to know how she had come to be on his boat. He extended his hand, flowing into a sweeping bow. "In that case, Mrs. Smith, would you grace me with your company for the evening?"

She stared for a moment, then the first beginnings of a grin appeared and she took the offered hand. Together they strolled into the center of the town. Far away they could hear something going on, probably something important. It didn't matter though. He was in the market for a new ship, and now had the beginnings of a crew. Everything looked up. If things continued on the path they were now, Captain Jack Sparrow might one day sail the Black Pearl into the horizon again.

Chapter One of Kaitlin

"This dock is off limits to civilians!"

Jack sighed and glanced at his 'wife'. "Terribly sorry. I didn't know. Would you prefer if my wife waited over there?" he asked innocently, trying to sidestep the two guards blocking his path onto the Interceptor. They moved to again block his path. Jack opened his mouth to say something when Mrs. Smith came in.

"I understand that there's some sort of to do up at the fort. How is it that two upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves did not merit an invitation?"

Jack stared. He had been about to say that! He needed to be having that talk with her as soon as possible.

"Someone has to make sure this dock stays off limits to civilians."

Jack glanced at his wife who was watching him expectantly. "It's a fine goal to be sure but it seems to me that a ship like that," he said, pointing out the outline of the Dauntless on the horizon, "makes this one here a bit superfluous, aye?"

The men nodded. "Aye, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough, but there's no ship that can match the Interceptor for speed."

"I've heard of one."

Again Jack stared at his wife. It wasn't out of place however, as the two guards were staring as well.

"The Black Pearl."

The guard to the right laughed. "Ah, there's no real ship that can match the Interceptor, miss."

The other guard turned to look at his companion. "The Black Pearl is a real ship. I've seen it."

The first rolled his eyes. "You've seen a ship with black sails, crewed by the damned and with a captain so evil hell itself spat him back out?"

"No."

"No." The guard turned back to Mrs. And Mr. Smith.

"But I have seen a ship with black sails."

"Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're saying?"

The guard nodded. "No."

"Like I said… there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor."

The couple was boarding the ship.

"Hey! You two! You can't be on there!" exclaimed the guards, hurrying to the wheel, which Jack was spinning experimentally.

He grinned apologetically. "I'm sorry, it's just such a pretty boat-ship! Ship."

The guards peered at him suspiciously. "Whut's your name?"

"Smith, or Smithy if you like."

"Whut's your purpose in Port Royale, Mr. Smith?" asked the first, still untrusting.

"Yeah, and no lies," added the second guard.

"Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out!"

"I said no lies!"

The first guard looked at his companion. "I think he is telling the truth."

Exasperated, the first replied, "If he were telling the truth he wouldn't've told us."

"Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to ye," Jack put in.

Akki sighed and glanced around curiously. The scene had frozen, as there was nothing really defined for them to be doing. She scanned the words, realizing that she had to change them or there would be some painful skips in setting that, while not affecting the characters, would be in her best interests to miss.

"So, what's your name, handsome?" she asked, sidling up to the closest guard. Time remained frozen for a moment, then he coughed and Jack grabbed her.

"What are you doing?" he hissed as he guided her off the ship. Fortunately, the guards were still too caught up in the missing scene to stop them.

"Saving my ass."

Staring, Jack sat her down at the nearest table. "And what would a pretty lady such as yourself be doing saying things of that nature? Or better yet, who are ye?" He didn't realize that he was now sitting exactly where he would be when Elizebeth fell.

His response was a soft sigh. "Your name is Jack Sparrow. You wish I had added Captain before that again. You once impersonated a member of the clergy. You've been caught and branded by the east India trading company. You have a tattoo of a sparrow flying in front of the sun just above the brand. You want the Black Pearl back. The thought just came into your head that I'm a stalker-which I'm not. Or maybe the wording was that I was following you. Whatever. No, I can't usually read minds. It just pops into my head sometimes when people think something quite strongly. I can also make you think or do whatever I want you to do. I am a Mary Sue. Don't worry-I think you're the most awesome character in Pirates of the Caribbean, but I won't try to make any romancy things happen and-"

Jack kissed her. Hard. When he sat back in his chair again she blinked. "Well that was a bit unexpected. It happens a lot in fanfiction when people babble though, so I guess it makes sense. I'm babbling now. Right. Shutting up."

The captain eyed her carefully. She said she had these unbelievable powers, but they were just that-unbelievable. Still, there was something about her. He had felt that urge to kiss her just then, and while that was hardly uncommon, it was in the combination that he usually made sure the advance wouldn't earn him a slap. Besides that, she looked so young. He'd never thought like that before, and could see no reason he would have started now. "How would I be knowing if what you say is true?" he asked finally.

She bit her lip, glancing around. Suddenly she froze. Although she hadn't been moving any considerable amount before, it was painfully obvious when she stopped. Her eyes, which were still half open, darted from side to side as if searching for something. _Or reading…_ He shook his head at the thought and watched. It continued to nag at him though, for that was exactly what it looked like. Like she was reading at extremely high speeds something that only she could see. Just as her eyes began to glaze over, the speed slowed and she began breathing in sharp little gasps. He reached over and shook her. Her eyes snapped open and she stood up coughing.

"Sorry," she said between coughs. "I had to read a different scene of the script. Never done it before. Anyway, those two guards will appear in front of you in a few seconds and you should probably start taking off anything that shouldn't get wet now. Oh, and give me your affects."

Jack raised an eyebrow skeptically, but did so. "And they would be appearing-and then they made me their chief."

A splash sound from nearby, and the two guards, named Mullroy and Murtog jumped to their feet. Jack glanced over, then back at his 'wife'. "I don't suppose you'll be saving her then."

Akki shook her head, smirking, as Mullroy admitted, "I can't swim." Murtog merely stared.

Jack sighed. "Pearl of the King's Navy you are." He shook his head and dove in, Murtog's mouth still open to protest. Akki watched as a wave spread from the spot where Elizabeth lie.

"What was that?" Murtog wondered, pacing anxiously. He gave a shout as Jack's head appeared above the water. "I got her." He pressed his ear to her chest. "Not breathing!"

Jack shoved him aside, frustrated, and pulled out a dagger, using it to slice open the young woman's corset. Mullroy watched curiously. "Never would have thought of that."

"Clearly you've never been to Singapore." Jack replied. His hand brushed against the necklace Elizabeth was wearing, revealing a golden medallion. "Where did you get that?"

He was interrupted by Commodore Norrington's newly made sword. "On your feet."

A man who was quite obviously Elizabeth's father hurried to help her up. "Elizabeth! Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she answered.

Her father glanced over at Murtogg, who was holding the torn corset. Realizing how the situation looked, the guard pointed to Jack. Governor Swann glared at the pirate. "Shoot him!"

"Father! Commodore, do you really intend to kill my rescuer?"

Seeming torn, the Commodore nodded. "I believe some thanks are in order." He extended his hand for a shake. Suddenly, when Jack accepted the grip, Norrington shoved the pirate's sleeve up, revealing a P burned into the man's arm. "Had a brush with the East India Trading company, did we, pirate?"

"Hang him."

Shocked, Elizabeth frowned at her father.

"Keep your guns on him, men. Gillette , fetch some irons." Pushing the sleeve father up revealed a sparrow flying before the sun. Norrington glanced up at the pirate. "Well, well… Jack Sparrow , isn't it?"

"Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please, sir."

The commodore sneered. "Well, I don't see your ship… Captain."

Jack offered a half-smile. "I'm in the market, as it were."

"He said he'd come to commandeer one," offered Murtogg.

Mullroy glanced over with a superior look as Jack was placed in handcuffs. "Told ya he was telling the truth."

Chapter Two of Kaitlin

"Here doggy," whistled the thief in the cell next to him, waving a bone about. Jack glanced over, rolling his eyes in disgust.

"You can keep doing that forever; the dog is never going to move."

The thief and his companions didn't bother to look at him. He was a queer one, that was for sure. "Oh, excuse us if we haven't resigned ourselves to the gallows just yet."

Jack smirked and settled back down into the shadows. The girl'd be coming for him-even if she wasn't he'd be able to escape somehow now that the Black Pearl'd be here also. Not that he really believed the tales, but there had to be some truth behind them. Perhaps some sort of magic lie in those coins after all to have made that ripple he'd felt in the water. He frowned, thoughts once more on 'Mrs. Smith'. He'd have been able to get away if the commodore had had his affects. Why had she taken them. Disturbed by this, he glanced out the window. She could be revealing all his plans while he did nothing but sit here. Another glance at the thief waving the bone. He stood, decided.

"Move over then, I'll show you how it's done." The thieves in the cell next to him gaped as he shoved them away and stole their bone, waving it in circles. "C'mon doggy, it's ol' Jack. You know ol' Jack. Come on good boy, that's it. Good boy. Bit closer..." The other prisoners watched in amazement as the dog crept closer and closer until suddenly the pirate snapped out and snatched the keys from its mouth. Jack waved the keys about triumphantly, hastily unlocking both himself and the other captives.

"Thanks to ye. Never coulda done on er own."

The pirate shrugged off their thanks and hurried away, carefully slipping past the guards, leaving the others to get caught once more. He didn't have much time, as soon the watch would notice the escaping prisoners and, upon their return, realize he was already gone. Scurrying down the streets, head bowed to avoid recognition, he was surprised to find the girl he'd saved earlier strolling down the street with the Commodore. Glancing about, he ducked into the blacksmith's shop. Unfortunately she saw. Eyes widening slightly she excused herself from his company, slipping inside the forge after him when no one was looking.

"Jack? Captain Jack-oh."

Jack's sword was pressed against her neck.

"Elizabeth, it is Elizabeth, isn't it?"

"It's Miss Swann," she growled.

"Miss Swann, if you'd be so kind as to tell your fiancé to release my 'wife'."

Elizabeth glared at her captor, shaking her head. "You're despicable."

Jack smirked. "Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, now you're saving hers; we're square."

The woman glanced at Will, who was holding his own sword to a young girl's neck in a similar fashion. "Will." The man lowered his eyes, the sword lowering slightly. She could see that he hated this just as much as she did, but could do nothing about it as both she and the girl were thrust toward each other.

"Glad to see we understand each other mate. Ta."

Jack jumped up the stairs to the door, pulling along his wife. "Jack, you might-" She was cut off by a sword flying past her ear. It hit the door, effectively preventing the lever to open it from being lifted. Jack tried to remove it, but couldn't. "not want to bother."

Jack glared at her. "And what's going to happen now?"

She shrugged. "Everything's so mixed up-Mr. Brown isn't even here, but I'd watch out for Miss Swann. She might use his beer bottle to knock you out. Also-ah, nevermind. You'll find out."

Sighing Jack turned to face the blacksmith, pointing at the sword still securely in the door. "That is a wonderful trick except now you are between me and my way out. And now you have no weapon."

"You threatened Muss Swann."

"Only a little."

With a smirk, Will pulled a sword from the furnace, already red-hot. Jack blinked, glancing around and for the first time noticing the multitude of weapons lying about. He opened his mouth, but shut it again without saying anything.

"Go on love, you know you want to say it."

With a glare at his wife, Jack submitted. "Who makes all these?" He thrust his sword towards the blacksmith, hoping to catch him off guard, with no such luck. Will parried, saying 'I do'.

"And I practice with them," he continued, ducking behind a wooden column, "three hours a day!"

Jack cocked his head. "You need to find yourself a girl, mate!" With a glance at Elizabeth he added, "Or, perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?" he asked, glancing down.

Will rolled his eyes, jumping forward with a new attack as he did so. "I practice three hours a day, so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!"

Jack raised an eyebrow appraisingly and backed up some.

"Jack! Catch!"

The pirate spun around, moving off the board he'd stepped onto just as it began to roll. In one smooth motion he ducked Mr. Turner's sword, catching his gun in the process, and rose, aiming the gun at him. Will's eyes widened in disbelief. "You cheated."

"Pirate," commented both Jack and his wife, glancing at each other. There was a knock at the door, and Jack released the safety on the gun. "Move away."

"No."

A hurried glance at the door, where Mrs. Smith could see Mr. Brown trying to get back in. Some soldiers were hurrying to assist him. "Jack!" she hissed.

The pirate nodded, understanding the urgency of the situation. "Please, move.

"No! I cannot just step aside and let you escape."

With the door now shuddering, Akki had to do something, or face Jack ending up in jail a second time. Thinking quickly, she realized this might be necessary for the chain of events, but as she always maintained-when you're a 'Sue in a story, you can't always be expected to abide by the canon. Especially when you weren't sure if trying to follow it when it'd already been tampered with would kill you or someone else.

"Mr. Turner! When you walked in this afternoon, a few minutes before I arrived, you looked at Mr. Brown and said 'right where I left you'." The blacksmith blinked. How did she know that? Maybe she had been listening at the door... "And before that you were at Governor Swann's house, presenting him with the sword you made. He's given it to Norrington." If she knew about the ceremony, and seen him coming out of the governor's house, that would have been easy to deduce. As if exasperated by his thoughts, she sighed, eyes darting about as she tried to think of something that would make him let the pirate go. He frowned. How could she be exasperated by his thoughts?

'And you said Elizabeth today, after she left. You love her-would even die for her if you had to.' Will nodded then froze. That had been her voice, but it wasn't coming from outside his mind. Was he imagining things? 'No, I'm just making you hear my thoughts. Now, thank you, and have a nice day. Might want to send Elizabeth on her way while yer at it. Might look a bit naughty-you two all alone...' Whipping around in time to see the couple running out the back door, Will realized that somehow her voice had distracted him enough to allow them to slip past. He turned to face Elizabeth, noticing that she was blinking rapidly and glancing around curiously, as if having just woken up. Now that he thought about it, Will felt much the same-rested but rather disoriented. Catching her eye, he gestured for her to leave through the same exit as their 'friends'. She understood, and the door was just closing when the main doors were flung open with an irate guard behind them.

"Mr. Turner! What is the meaning of this?" exclaimed Norrington, waving at the broken door, sword still stuck in it. Will flushed.

"I, ah, was angry and threw it. It seems I forgot it was there and fell asleep." The explanation wouldn't raise anyone's respect for him, but at least no one would now the pirate had been here.

The soldiers appraised Will thoughtfully, but one by one turned and marched away. As they left, the Commodore called back, "A pirate we caught earlier has escaped. He is considered quite dangerous, and so we would appreciate it if you would refrain from sticking your doors shut. Someone might get the wrong impression."

Will stared as Mr. Brown shrugged and fell into his chair, picking up a new bottle of rum and gulping it down like water, then slipped out the back door after the pirate. Perhaps he could raise his reputation and prove his worth to Elizabeth by catching the man. This goal in mind, he sprinted down the alley.

"There you go, Miss. It was a difficult day for you, I'm sure," commented the maid as she snuck the bed-warmer between the sheets.

Elizabeth nodded sleepily. "I suspected Commodore Norrington would propose but I must admit I wasn't entirely prepared for it."

A gasp of astonishment from the maid. "Well I meant that encounter with the pirate! It must have been terrifying!"

Looking back at the day's events, Elizabeth smiled. "Oh, yes, it was terrifying."

"But the Commodore proposed. Fancy that, that's a smart match, Miss, if it's not too bold to say."

"It is a smart match. He's a fine man; he's what any woman should dream of marrying."

"Well, that Will Turner , he's a fine man, too."

Elizabeth glanced up sharply. "That is too bold."

"Begging your pardon, Miss, it was not my place." The maid left with a knowing look on her face that Elizabeth hated. How she wished she had just kept quiet, but it was too late now. She sighed and rolled over. The girl wouldn't tell anyone how she felt, so the secret should be safe. Still... A sudden breeze made her shiver as the candle lighting her room blew out. Pulling the covers farther up, she drifted off to sleep, still reliving the battle in the forge.

"Pirate."

Jack whipped around, trying to look nothing like he had been about to sneak aboard the Interceptor. When he realized who it was, he sighed, glancing about for the girl. She should have warned him. Then the blacksmith brought her out, bound by the wrists and gagged. She was glaring at the both of them, although Jack really didn't think it was quite fair. She was the one who had appeared on his boat. It really only made sense that he'd use her as a lookout, especially with her uncanny ability to predict the future.

The blacksmith was about to speak again when a sudden volley of cannon fire struck the ground a few hundred yards away. Jack glanced up anxiously, recognizing the sound. The Black Pearl! He grinned. "Well, mate. If you're really so set on catching me, you'll have to be doing it with the lass there. I'll be goin with me ship."

Shocked, the pair watched as he dove into the water and began swimming towards the attacking ship. Before he was out of site, however, the girl had already spun around, staring up at him expectantly. He shifted uncomfortably. This really wasn't a part of his plan. Finally he untied her, and the second her hands were free she ripped of the gag and tried to dive in after the pirate. Will grabbed her arm at the last second and dragged her back to the shore.

"Let go of me! He can't go out there! He has to get a crew from Tortuga and-oh!" She clapped her hands around her mouth. "I shouldn't a said that."

"What's your name?"

"Akki."

"Well Miss Akki, why don't you use those powers of yours?"

Her eyes widened. He was right! Why hadn't she thought of that? Impulsive as always, she jumped up and hugged him, letting go when she realized she wasn't feeling any breathing from him. As he gasped for air (with her blushing all the while) she concentrated, sending her thoughts as far as she could.

'Come back. You're needed. You'll get the Pearl back another way, after that crew's no longer damned.'

Jack paused. What if the stories were true? He couldn't overpower the dead.

'Too true. You need to become cursed yourself-just long enough to kill Barbossa.'

Jack frowned, treading water as the thoughts washed over him. He knew they weren't his, but Akki had gotten good enough to make him believe it was someone other than her... such as Bootstrap Bill, whom she hoped sounded something like his son.

Jack started back, and was just slinking up behind the blacksmith when the girl stiffened, then sprinted away. A second later he knew why as an explosion erupted behind him, tossing pieces of the dock at him. He remembered Will seeing him, eyes wide in horror, before everything went black.

Chapter Three of Kaitlin

Elizabeth shivered. The closet air was cold, and she was still in naught but her nightwear. Outside the closet lurked the reason she was in hiding.

The first pirate, Pintel called out softly, "We know you're here poppet."

"Poppet," echoed the second pirate, Ragetti.

Elizabeth shook her head. Why were they here? Why couldn't they have left her and her family in peace? And the butler... If only she'd been a few seconds sooner. Would the other's be all right? What about Will?

"Come out and we promise we won't hurt you." Ragetti glanced at Pintel questioningly but he just smiled and continued. "We will find you, Poppet. You've got something of ours and it calls to us. The gold calls to us."

"Gold calls…"

Elizabeth raised the coin to study it. Was this what they were after? A shadow fell over her and the door to the closet opened.

"'Ello, Poppet."

"Parley," she exclaimed. This was her only chance to live through this.

Ragetti blinked. "What?"

"Parley. I invoke the right of parley. According to the code of the brethren, set down by the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew, you have to take me to your Captain."

Pintel scowled. "I know the code."

"If an adversary demands parley you can do them no harm until the parley is complete," she pleaded.

"To blazes with the code!"

Pintel shook his head. "She wants to be taken to the Captain. And she'll go without a fuss. We must honor the code."

"Will! Are you okay?"

Will groaned and rolled over. Did he smuggle some of Master Brown's ale out last night? The smell of gunpowder reached him and he bolted up, glancing about frantically. Was Elizabeth still alive? If pirates attacked, and they had, it made sense that they'd go after the governor's daughter. The question was would they hold her ransom, or would they just kill her? He turned to the girl who'd awoken him – she was now repeating those efforts in attempt to wake the pirate.

"Where's Elizabeth?"

"On the Pearl." The girl's eyes glazed over for a second then, with a light shudder, she was back, gasping slightly. "She's negotiating the cessation...

Seira glanced out of the captain's quarters, having quickly learned it was the only place the pirates wouldn't spend much time in. When Barbossa found her, he'd not known about her powers and so she was able to use them to make them forget her. However, it wasn't as easy to make them not see her if she was right in front of them, thus the hiding.

"I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against Port Royal."

Seira perked up at the sound of Elizabeth's voice. Were they at that part already? It seemed she'd been lucky and ended up coming in not long from the beginning of the movie.

"There are a lot of long words in there, Miss; we're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?" asked Captain Barbossa.

"I want you to leave and never come back."

Barbossa shrugged slightly. "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request…means no."

"Very well." Elizabeth pulled the golden medallion from around her neck. "I'll drop it," she announced, dangling it over the side of the Black Pearl.

"Me holds are burstin' with swag and that bit of shine matters to us?" The pirates laughed nervously. "Why?"

Elizabeth seemed confused and not a little desperate. "It's what you've been searching for! I recognized the ship. I saw it eight years ago on the crossing from England!"

"Did ye now?"

Her face hardened. "Fine." She glanced at the trinket in her hand. "Well, suppose if it is worthless then there's no point in me keeping it." She released for only a moment, a moment in which all but Seira lunged forward. The governor's daughter smiled.

Barbossa, on the other hand, looked annoyed to have fallen for the gambit. "Ah," he agreed through forced laughter. So maybe it was important. "You have a name, missy?"

"Elizabeth. . . Turner. I'm a maid in the Governor's household," she lied with a curtsy.

The pirates suddenly looked interested. "Miss Turner?"

Pintel glanced at Ragetti. "Bootstrap."

"And how does a maid come to own a trinket such as that. Family heirloom, perhaps?"

Her eyes narrowed as she tried to think her way out of the hole formed around her. "I didn't steal it, if that's what you mean."

"Very well, you hand it over and we'll put your town to our rudder and never return."

She gladly handed over the charm and looked about expectantly. "Our bargain?"

Barbossa nodded shortly and walked away. "Still the guns and stow 'em. . . "

This was her chance! Seira darted out amid the commotion and ran to the small boat tied up to the ship. Meanwhile Elizabeth protested that the captain had to return her to Port Royale. "Wait! You have to take me to shore. According to the code of the order of the brethren –"

Barobossa whipped around. "First, your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement,so I must do nothing. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the pirate's code to apply and you're not. And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl , Miss Turner"

Elizabeth glanced about desperately and noticed Seira, already clambering into the boat. "Wait!"

Unfortunately, this outburst managed to earn the captain's attention and furthermore transfer it to the Mary-Sue. He nodded to Koehler and Bo'sun who dashed over and snatched her arms. "We don't appreciate stowaways," announced Barbossa with a smirk. Quickly, Seira attempted to use her powers again to make them send her back to Port Royale, where she could hopefully wait the movie out to the end. It sort of worked. "Very well. You want to leave so much? I think we'll help you swing over." His words were too literal for her liking – the two pirates holding her captive picked her up by her feet and head and swung her overboard. Barbossa grinned in satisfaction. "Makes the whole day worthwhile."

Jack finally groaned and rolled to his feet, glancing about wildly. Seeing no threats but the blacksmith and his supposed wife he relaxed and sauntered over to where they stood discussing things having long since given up on the effort to revive him.

"Where is she?"

Both looked at him in surprise.

"Well? Where's the Pearl?"

The two sighed, shaking their heads. Akki glanced at him with a slight frown. "Sorry, we thought maybe you were asking about Elizabeth. She's on the Pearl by the way, which you should be able to find."

Jack nodded. She had the coin, so they'd be bringing her back to Isla de Muerta. "I suppose you'll be wanting me to help you retrieve her then. What's in it for me?"

Will started to answer, but Akki cut him off quickly. "His name is Will Turner, and he needs to get her back. You are Captain Jack Sparrow, and you also need to get her back because she is on your ship. Now could we please hurry up? I want to get the timing back on track, and you're a bit late in waking up."

The canon characters blinked, but slowly a grin slid over Jack's face. "That will be short for William , I imagine. Good, strong name. No doubt, named for your father, aye?"

Will glanced at the pirate suspiciously. "Yes."

"Aha. Well, Miss Akki, if you guarantee that I shall get my Pearl back, I swear on pain of death, I shall take you to her and to his bonny lass. Do we have an accord?"

Akki and Will nodded.

"Well then, what we're going to have to do is. . . ."

Seira coughed as she dragged herself onto the beach. She never wanted to even look at the ocean again. Thanks to her Sue powers, limited as they were, she hadn't drowned and had in fact made quite good time in returning to shore, but all the same it hadn't been a comfortable experience.

She glanced up through dripping hair, eyes widening. Was that--? She sprinted forward, stopping just short of Jack Sparrow and Will Turner. There was a strange girl walking with them. Could it be one of the others? She'd thought she was the only one, but maybe, "Akki?"

The girl spun around. She had long brown hair tied back in a braid and pale violet eyes. "Seira?"

Seira lunged forward into a spinning embrace, a move normally out of character for her. It was great to see a familiar person, even if it was Akki. "You look different."

Akki nodded, studying her friend as well. Seira was now dressed in the same type of attire as she, baggy burgundy pants with a white tunic. Her hair was short and black, and her friend's normally brown eyes were a startling blue. "As do you."

Will and Jack took in the exchange silently, not questioning the pair as the girls fell into step beside them with a practiced ease that startled the men. While Akki normally seemed so awkward, with her friend beside her she suddenly became someone who'd traveled far and through much. Jack couldn't help but marvel at it as Will wondered what had happened before he'd met this group.

Trying to get back on track, Will pointed to the Dauntless. "We're going to steal a ship. That ship?"

Jack and the two girls shook their heads. With a silencing glare at the two, Jack nodded to the Interceptor. "Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term. One question about your business boy, or there's no use going. This girl, how far are you willing to go to save her?"

"I'd die for her."

Akki and Seira grinned at each other. "Oh, good. No worries, then."

Jack rolled his eyes and glanced at a line of row boats on the beach. "Perfect."

"This is either madness or brilliance."

Everyone glanced at Will, whose foot had just gotten stuck in a wooden trap. Jack smirked. "It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide."

Akki and Seira nodded at each other happily. This was how the adventure was supposed to go – no friends joining in and completely changing the order everything happened and then having to destroy the ring themselves and go back around killing off dead characters, just plain simple tagging along and getting see and even say the coolest scenes. In fact, they were currently arguing about who got to say what in their minds where the other characters couldn't pick up on them.

'I want the so we're to be two immortals line,' Akki thought furiously.

'Fine. Give me the welcome to the Caribbean line.'

'No! I like that one!'

'So do I!'

And so it went on until they were boarding the boat. They managed to snap out of the row just in time to hear Jack say, "Everyone stay calm, we are taking over the ship."

They shook their heads franticly at Will, who didn't get the hint. "Aye, avast," said he and both girl's mimed hanging themselves.

The next few minutes passed in a blur for the two girls, shoved out of the way as Will and Jack and other various people scurried about doing this and that. Really, the only thing required of Seira and Akki in this plan was that they jump over to the Interceptor when it came. There was a problem here though – the naval officers were trying to return Will to port, most likely because he hadn't been at scenes he should have been at earlier. Furthermore, Commodore Norrington wasn't at his post. A young, ambitious man was there in his stead. What this all meant for the group was that the Interceptor wasn't coming. Jack, who had been following the storyline unconsciously up to this point, didn't understand what was going on.

"I don't suppose you two can do something about this," he grunted as he prepared to make an actual attempt at sailing the Dauntless out into open water. Unfortunately, his earlier ministrations in disabling the ship made the task quite impossible.

Akki bit her lip. She could do it, but the aftermath wouldn't be good. Still, it was better if she did – if Jack and Will didn't arrive at just the right moment to Tortuga, they might not then be able to reach Elizabeth in time to save her.

"I can. Seira, you can take care of me for a bit, right?"

The Sue nodded. This was a serious use of their powers, and even though Akki's were probably the most developed, she was still going to have a bit of trouble with this. "Don't worry about that." She frowned. If only the Interceptor didn't need all those special preparations to get out of port – if that were the case, the matter would be nothing but some simple strategically placed plot holes. They could do that for distances as far as that. It was when they tried to cross more than a few miles that they began to end up in unplanned places. The frown shifted to a grimace as she remembered the Edoras incident. Appearing in front of stampeding horses with a ringbearer and unconscious Akki was a . . . memorable experience to say the least.

"Here goes. Seira, make sure that this area isn't affected." Akki went suddenly limp. Luckily, Seira was prepared for this and so caught her quite easily, employing a shield about the Dauntless as she did so. Jack and Will watched the proceedings in amazement, gasping slightly when a rippling white world appeared around their boat, making it seem as if it were floating in midair.

"What is this?" asked Will.

Seira smiled thinly. "Nothing compared to what's about to happen. You'll want to be prepared to swing over to the Interceptor. I'm not sure how long Akki will take to finish this – we've only done it once, but that time the changes to the world caused by our appearance were a thousand times greater." The two started away then. As planned, Seira stayed put with Akki. She'd have to use a plot hole later anyway as Akki wouldn't be able to move well enough to swing across on the ropes Jack and Will would be using. The body in her arms twitched slightly, the eyes flickering under the girl's lids. Seira nodded. It was going much faster this time – Akki was already at the words.

"Hmmm. . . ." Akki mused as she glared at the words in front of her. She was sitting in a cluttered office full of music books and random scattered papers about every subject imaginable. In one corner lay a deserted pile of fanfiction, hoping to be revived. Under the computer desk she was sitting before were pencils and markers of all different hues. Some of them, the ones that represented the body, were leaking out their ink into pools about them. Akki shot them a nasty look. "I know, I'm hurrying."

Careful not to look at her name, which could bring her out of her Mary-Sue form, she clicked on a folder labeled "coreysstuff" and scrolled down. It was filled with useless garbage and songs and other such things like one might find in any computer folder belonging to what appeared to be a teenage girl. However, two things were slightly unusual. There were two folders – one labeled Lord of the Rings and the other Pirates of the Caribbean – that glowed a bit when she looked at them. Smiling, she opened the Pirates of the Caribbean folder with two quick clicks of the mouse.

Once in the folder, things became more difficult. There were two files, one the actual script and one the way things had been up to that point. The script was, even as she sat there, changing to fit what the other file was setting everything up for. She rubbed her forehead, glancing at the half empty markers. It seemed Barbossa was going to end up turning into a Norwegian Blue due to complications with the plot. She could see the dead parrot jokes already – literally. With a groan she clicked on the words and began typing at about the time Jack stole the Interceptor. As she wrote, the Norwegian Blue once again became Barbossa, and the jokes once more became witty things for Seira and her to quote.

Seira was getting worried. Maybe it had taken longer before in the Lord of the Rings to finish the job, but the way Akki had so quickly begun reading the words made her think that this time would be much faster – apparently not. Luckily, the shield prevented anything else from happening to where they were, but she worried still. Taking this long either meant that Akki hadn't had the energy required or that the words were much more corrupted than they'd thought.

Akki smiled triumphantly as she clicked save on the document. Everything was normal for the time being. Hopefully she could keep things that way. "No more trying to keep pirates out of jail for me." She grinned as the file acknowledged her save. Now time to see how much time she had left. The smile faltered. The highlighters were out. "Crap." She disappeared, hoping she wasn't too late.

The world was back around them now, the words having taken effect. Seira shook Akki – she should have been awake already! Finally Akki groaned, just as Jack and Will were crossing over to the Interceptor. The 'Sue smiled sleepily.

"How bad was it?" asked Seira, annoyed at being put through that much worry when the girl was obviously fine, if a bit tired.

Akki's smile broadened. "Norwedgian Blue."

Seira blinked in confusion, pausing to stare at the almost unconscious girl for a moment before ripping the air before her. Through the tear, she could make out the Interceptor. "Will! Get her in there!"

Will nodded and lugged Akki across the plot holes, realizing that now was not the time to be asking questions. Or maybe he just was still in awe at the shield she'd used earlier.

With a wave of her hand and a slight nod, the plot hole disappeared from the words and her view. There was a slight jolt as the last of Akki's changes in the words finished making their presences known, and they were on their way. Behind them lay the pandemonium only one Captain Jack Sparrow knew how to create.

Kaitlin Chapter Four

Will had avoided the pirate well for the first few hours of sailing, and in fact, Seira and Akki only could find through the words. This bothered them little, as they were climbing nets and racing about being ignored by Jack. He figured that after whatever it was they had done before they were granted freedom to act like bloody lunatics, especially Akki, who had recovered her energy through what seemed to be her sheer willpower to have fun.

Finally, almost three hours after they left port, Will came back to the land of the living, sharpening his sword thoughtfully. He glanced at Jack. "When I was a lad living in England , my mother raised me by herself. After she died, I came out here, looking for my father."

Jack glanced back appraisingly. "Is that so?"

"My father, Will Turner . . . it was only after you learned my name that you agreed to help. Since that's what I wanted, I didn't press the matter." Will paused, considering the way the pirate was staring at him now. "I'm not a simpleton, Jack. You knew my father."

From far above they heard a shriek as Akki fell. She caught herself on some netting and grinned down at them. "You're right! I am your father!" She burst out with more maniacal laughter before scampering back up to where Seira was.

Jack shook his head. "No, I am not your father. I knew 'im though. Probably one the few who knew him as William Turner, everyone else just called him Bootstrap or Bootstrap Bill."

"Bootstrap?"

Jack nodded. "Good man, good pirate. I swear you look just like him."

Will staggered back a couple steps before glaring resolutely at Jack Sparrow. "It's not true, he was a merchant sailor; a good, respectable man who obeyed the law."

"He was a bloody pirate, a scallywag."

Once again Akki fell, but this time Seira caught her ankle and was able to heave her back up.

"My father was not a pirate," declared Will, pulling out his sword through a plot hole already there in the canon.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again."

"You didn't beat me; you ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd killed you!" exclaimed Will Turner.

"That's really no incentive for me to fight fair then, is it?" Jack smirked as he made a large wooden pole used for the sails swing Will out over the sea. "Now as long as you're just hanging there, pay attention. The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance – you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that someday. And me, for example, I can let you drown but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So…" He swung Will back onto the deck, offering him his sword, acquired through yet another canon created plot hole. "Can you sail under the command of a pirate or can you not?"

After a brief pause, Will took the proffered sword, gazing at the pirate questioningly. "Tortuga?"

Akki finally fell completely off her perch and hit the deck with a thud. Jack sighed. "Tortuga." To himself he whispered, "That girl will not take one step onto my Pearl."

It felt to Jack that it had been years already that he had been on the Interceptor with those girls. Seira, when alone, was good enough. The most she did was occasionally turn red when someone (usually him) talked to her. He turned to Kaitlin and shrugged, then hesitated. Who the hell was Kaitlin? With a shrug he called over to Will, "Hurry up. We're at the dock." Will nodded and after a few minutes they were off the Interceptor and strolling through the streets. They had (quite accidentally, of course) forgotten the 'Sues.

"…More importantly, it is indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep the sweet proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga , savvy? What do you think?"

Will jerked slightly as Jack's voice brought him back out of his thoughts. He glanced quickly about the town at the drunks and filth all about. "It'll linger."

Jack grinned. "I'll tell you mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted." As he said that, a brightly dressed girl stalked over. Jack's grin broadened. "Scarlet!" She immediately slapped him. As she stormed off, Jack rubbed his cheek. "Not sure I deserved that. Giselle!" he exclaimed as yet another girl tramped over to him.

"Who was she?" she cried out.

"What?" Jack winced as she too slapped him. "I may have deserved that."

By now they had reached a small, open room with a man laying in it. Two girls with large buckets stood before him. Jack sighed. He had been looking forward to doing that himself. With a shrug, he settled himself down a few feet away to watch.

Akki threw the water at the man, who woke instantly, sputtering. He glared at her. "Curse you for breathing, you slack jawed idiot! You should know better then to wake a man when he's sleeping. 'S bad luck."

Akki smirked and leaned closer. "Ah, fortunately I know how to counter it. The one who did the waking buys the one who was sleeping a drink. The one who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the one who did the waking."

The man paused, thinking it over. Finally he smiled. "Aye, that'll about do it." Before he could stand all the way up, Seira threw her bucket of water at him as well. "Blast! I'm already awake!"

Seira nodded, grinning. "That was for the smell."

Both Akki and the man pondered that for a moment and nodded. Jack had to say, she did a good job of being him. Maybe if he could just train her to cease the stealing of his lines she could join his crew on the Pearl. He shook his head and followed Akki and Seira closely behind the man, Gibbs, although Gibbs had yet to notice the pirate and blacksmith following him.

The small group entered a tavern. Akki glanced back at Jack nervously, but he just shrugged as if to say 'you got yourself into this mess, now let's see if you can get yourself out of it'. With a glare, she turned back to Gibbs and gestured for him to sit down. Seira picked up a drink from a table, hoping it wouldn't kill the man. That was one of those things that would rather mess up the timeline.

Gibbs took the drink, eyeing it suspiciously before downing it. He leaned across the table. "Now, what's the nature of this venture your'n?"

Akki shrugged, carefully leaning her chair back on two legs. "Thought I'd go after the Black Pearl." Gibbs spat out the rum he'd just drunken. Akki continued as if nothing had happened. "I know where it's going to be, and I intend to take it."

"It's a fool's errand. Surely you know the tales to be looking for it."

Akki nodded slowly, a grin settling on her face. "Aye." She thought. "In any case, I shall need a crew. Would you be willing to aid me in this venture?"

Gibbs shook his head, mind still set on the previous topic. "From what I hear tell of Captain Barbossa , he's not a man to suffer fools nor strike a bargain with one."

Akki sighed as Jack walked up behind her. She'd been hoping to do this alone, but maybe this was better. She was supposed to be protecting the plot after all. Jack smirked at the look on Gibbs' face. "Well, then I say it's a very good thing I'm not a fool then, aye?"

Gibbs glanced back and forth between the two, finally settling on crossing his arms and leaning back. "Prove me wrong. What makes ye think Barbossa will give up his ship to you? Either of you."

Before Jack could answer, Seira came over, eyes narrowed. "Actually, I find it all fascinating. Yes, that's what worries me."

All but Gibbs looks slightly confused, but finally Akki got it and chimed in with a slight British accent, "Look! A boy! There's a boy in the water!"

Jack shoved her out of the chair and sat down, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Will wasn't paying attention. "These two lasses seem to be in possession of some fairly useful abilities – they'll do for avoiding death. As for the ship…" He nodded towards Will meaningfully. "Let's just say it's a matter of leverage, eh?"

Gibbs looked at Will, who seemed to have made it his duty to stand guard and thus was paying absolutely no attention the the men discussing him. "The kid?"

"That is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner. His _only_ child, savvy?"

Seira smirked and whispered to Akki, "Elizabeth apparently doesn't know that."

Akki nodded. "Everything went how it should on the ship then? I was a bit worried…"

"Yeah." They turned back to Gibbs and Jack and joined in a toast. "Give nothing back."

They were encountered with sudden silence from the tavern. Akki nodded. "Sorry, I forgot. There's a scene with Elizabeth about now and –"

Will spun around. "Elizabeth? How is she?"

Seira rolled her eyes. "That got your attention fast enough. She's fine – just getting tossed about and dealing with undead pirate monkeys. Nothing the girl can't handle." She grabbed an apple from the table and shined it on her pants leg. "What I find more pressing is the matter of what we be doing now." She paused to consider it. "The movie never really said what you guys did here…"

Akki grinned. "_I _know what Jack and Will did."

"Oh do shut up you stupid slasher."

Will exchanged glances with Jack and Gibbs. "I would assume," he ventured, "that if we're not predestined to do anything as you say, we'd do what a group would normally do at a time like this."

Akki frowned. "And what might that be?"

Jack frantically shook his head in an effort to stop Will. Apparently the blacksmith either didn't see or didn't realize the danger he was walking into. He started toward the stairs. "We find rooms and sleep."

Akki brightened. "You're right! That sounds like an excellent idea! I'll room with Jack and Seira can room with you…"

"Why do you get Jack?"

"Well I don't want the pansy elf. You know how much I hate him and his stupid poses."

Seira glared at Akki. "Well I'm not fan of Orlando either, but you have to admit this Will is much better looking."

"So why don't you sleep with him?"

Jack and Gibbs motioned for Will to follow them out the door and this time, by some miracle, the boy listened. Akki and Seira, intent on winning a room with Jack, did not notice that neither one would be rooming with the pirate, as they would have to find him first.

Jack stood on the dock with Will, also known as his leverage, surveying the crew Gibbs seemed to have mustered up while they slept. They were… and assorted lot to say the least. Will didn't seem very impressed. He glanced at Jack. "So this is your able-bodied crew?"

Jack looked around the dock surreptitiously for signs of the 'Sues. Seeing not a trace, he relaxed some and looked at one of his crew. "You, sailor!"

"Cotton, sir," Gibbs added helpfully.

"Mister Cotton! Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?" He paused, waiting for a reaction. Getting none, he repeated, "Mister Cotton!"

Gibbs shrugged apologetically. "He's a mute, sir. Poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the parrot to talk for him… No one's yet figured how."

Jack rolled his eyes. It'd have been nice to know that before asking the question. Nevertheless, he'd asked the question and wasn't going to go without an answer. "Mister Cotton's parrot – same question."

The parrot thought it over for a moment and nodded. "Wind in the sails. Wind in the sails."

"Mostly, we figure that means yes," Gibbs translated.

"Of course it does." Jack groaned inwardly and turned to Will. "Satisfied?"

Will stared. "Well, you've proved they're mad."

"Wait! WAAAIIIT!" All on the dock turned, Will and Jack wincing and looking for a place to hide, as Akki came dashing towards them. "Wait! Jaaack, you can't just leave without me like that!"

Behind her walked Seira, rubbing her eyes and yawning. When she reached the group, she glared sleepily at them. "You guys leave too early…" She turned the glare on Akki. "And YOU are too damn noisy for this early in the morning! If it bothered you that much, we could have just –"

She was interrupted by a sudden rocking of the dock, throwing her off-balance. She looked around, wide-eyed, which didn't reassure Jack and Will in the slightest. If she was surprised… Well, it was always possible that her abilities didn't allow her to see quite as much as Akki. As one, the two men looked for Akki. She was gone, as was their crew.

Jack stepped gingerly towards Seira, avoiding strange-looking patches of wood that seemed to be trying to eat their surroundings, and held out his hand. Seira took it and climbed to her feet. "Thank you."

Also avoiding the same traps, Will approached the pair. "Seira, I don't suppose you know what this is, do you? Or where Akki's gone?"

Seira shook her head, looking around in dismay. "This is all… This never happened in the movie. I guess… Really it has to mean that we were followed. But you guys are here, and you're the only ones I can think of that _she_ would be after." She wrinkled her nose. "Unless she likes Captain Barbossa, or something gross like that."

Will and Jack exchanged another glance. "Miss," Jack said, moving out of the way of a growing hole, "I think it's time you told us exactly what it is that you two are involved in."


End file.
